I feel like a failure, fat, ugly, lonely Im in therapy trying to shake off this burden but Im findining it really difficult. Families are all complex. Narcissistic family roles (scapegoat, golden child, invisible child) Ill choose to just be alone. As I said earlier, narcissistic parents put their own needs ahead of their children. I am seeing a therapist. They judge the Scapegoat more harshly for going against expectations and downplay the Scapegoats accomplishments and successes. Nebula knows this, and despite her attempts to play it cool, her pain is evident. The scapegoat is the punching bag for the Golden Child. I believe they were shocked and needed time to develop a perspective they could all agree upon. She supported my sister financially throughout her adult life and left absolutely everything to her when she died. This explains so much!! Narcissists hate this aspect of themselves and put most of their energy into avoiding ever having to face it or accept that it is real. Amazing article Alexander! They married in March and she delivered in September. Here's how scapegoating works: The parent with NPD blames their child (or children) for family issues. Enter the scapegoat as a ready-made solution to this problem. Any hatred towards the insecure self can then be directed at the scapegoat. It was that very moment I told off my mother and praised my sister after 10 mins of parenting criticism that my sister realized I would let nothing hurt her or hurt her kids, mentally and emotionally, from my narc mom. Internalizes blame 5. I feel he never knew the real Her. To bake a cake, you need to put the right ingredients together (flour, eggs, sugar, etc. They dont know when or how the praise will come, so they start learning how to elicit it from other people through things like bragging and lying. Now I completely understand the difficulty between me and my mom as I was growing up, especially from my teen years on up! I can so relate to this. I learned to never express needs because they were dangerous. Watch on. I am one of 5 children and my mom would often triangulate us against each other.
